Great interview! I'm a Santino fan, and I can't wait to see this different side to him that Tim keeps talking about. I'm kind of scared to, I'm afraid I'll get "weepy" as well, but it should be good.
I'm not surprised by Tim's reaction to Santino-at-home. My heart first went out to the sad Santino when, around the time Nick was or was about to be eliminated, Santino said something like, "Everyone has contempt for me here." It seemed clear at some level he doesn't want this, but at another it's all he knows how to deal with. He has grown up to be a person for whom contempt is the norm. In a strange way, being an object of contempt is his comfort zone--it's who he is, and, therefore, he goes to a lot of effort to make sure people feel contempt for him. Dr Don said it well: " It would not surprise me at all if it goes back to childhood and his being the victim of a parent's, or other authority figure's cruel and judgemental abuse/putdowns/ridicule, which he has now unfortunately internalized." I anticipate the response, "Well, if he doesn't like people treating him with contempt, why doesn't he just behave better?" This, unfortunately is the "just-say-no" answer to habits of behavior. Habits, being habits, are not wholly in our conscious control. We usually need some help or, at the very least, we need to become acutely aware of the mechanisms of our behavior. Even then it's not easy. Being an object of contempt is a (large?) part of who Santino is. It's scary to give up who you are however uncomfortable it may be to be you. To some extent, we are all Santino's. We all have habitual ways of behaving that are less than optimal. Hopefully, fo most of us, they are not quite so destructive --to others but also to Santino himself. I have no wish to remain anonymous, but one of my habits apparently revolves around an incapability of getting through the process of creating a blogger account without something going wrong.
Santino has said he was the odd man among his peers many times - anyone remember how cruel kids can be to the odd kid (he had a lot of stuff they could make fun of) plus he had the white dad and biracial mom - yeah I bet he had to develop ways of coping
I like him and would hold him til he felt better if I could
Good point geekygirrl--often forgotten, and why I previously stressed the idea of how a person behaves or acts as opposed to how they "are." As you say, action is always context-dependent--we act differently in different situations with different people, which is why, happily, Santino, it appears, has people in his life who are good friends with whom he feels secure. No contempt in sight. Sorry, Santino--I have no idea how I got started sounding off about you like I'm some blooming expert. About this context-dependent stuff, I notice that I'm long-winded in any context! So no more from me.
After I heard that despicable, disgusting, unforgiveable remark Santino made about Marla...I wouldn't feel one iota of sympathy for him if Marla's grown son tracked him down and beat him with a shovel!
Having both Jay (after the name he called Heidi) and Santino win in both seasons of PR would be an insult to the very Women they want to become famous off of and garner their fortunes from! I'm truly disgusted with both of them. Tim Gunn is right...that would be a freak-show!
8 comments:
Okay, I can't even imagine Tim Gunn going to get the paper without shaving. It's inconceivable.
Great interview! I'm a Santino fan, and I can't wait to see this different side to him that Tim keeps talking about. I'm kind of scared to, I'm afraid I'll get "weepy" as well, but it should be good.
I'm not surprised by Tim's reaction to Santino-at-home. My heart first went out to the sad Santino when, around the time Nick was or was about to be eliminated, Santino said something like, "Everyone has contempt for me here." It seemed clear at some level he doesn't want this, but at another it's all he knows how to deal with. He has grown up to be a person for whom contempt is the norm. In a strange way, being an object of contempt is his comfort zone--it's who he is, and, therefore, he goes to a lot of effort to make sure people feel contempt for him. Dr Don said it well: " It would not surprise me at all if it goes back to childhood and his being the victim of a parent's, or other authority figure's cruel and judgemental abuse/putdowns/ridicule, which he has now unfortunately internalized."
I anticipate the response, "Well, if he doesn't like people treating him with contempt, why doesn't he just behave better?" This, unfortunately is the "just-say-no" answer to habits of behavior. Habits, being habits, are not wholly in our conscious control. We usually need some help or, at the very least, we need to become acutely aware of the mechanisms of our behavior. Even then it's not easy. Being an object of contempt is a (large?) part of who Santino is. It's scary to give up who you are however uncomfortable it may be to be you.
To some extent, we are all Santino's. We all have habitual ways of behaving that are less than optimal. Hopefully, fo most of us, they are not quite so destructive --to others but also to Santino himself.
I have no wish to remain anonymous, but one of my habits apparently revolves around an incapability of getting through the process of creating a blogger account without something going wrong.
Santino has said he was the odd man among his peers many times - anyone remember how cruel kids can be to the odd kid (he had a lot of stuff they could make fun of) plus he had the white dad and biracial mom - yeah I bet he had to develop ways of coping
I like him and would hold him til he felt better if I could
Good point geekygirrl--often forgotten, and why I previously stressed the idea of how a person behaves or acts as opposed to how they "are." As you say, action is always context-dependent--we act differently in different situations with different people, which is why, happily, Santino, it appears, has people in his life who are good friends with whom he feels secure. No contempt in sight. Sorry, Santino--I have no idea how I got started sounding off about you like I'm some blooming expert.
About this context-dependent stuff, I notice that I'm long-winded in any context! So no more from me.
I absolutely love Tim Gunn. The more I read about him, the more I love him! He seems to be a very caring and kind person.
I love how Tim Gunn is so honest!!
After I heard that despicable, disgusting, unforgiveable remark Santino made about Marla...I wouldn't feel one iota of sympathy for him if Marla's grown son tracked him down and beat him with a shovel!
Having both Jay (after the name he called Heidi) and Santino win in both seasons of PR would be an insult to the very Women they want to become famous off of and garner their fortunes from! I'm truly disgusted with both of them. Tim Gunn is right...that would be a freak-show!
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